Thursday, July 28, 2011

Peace Surpasses All Understanding

Written: Saturday, July 23, 2011

I am currently writing from a community housing facility. I am on the top bunk bed and in a room with two strange men I just met today.

Motown Maurice on a bunk bed of his new residency

I’ve been staying with my Interim Guardian Angel who I now refer to as my Adjuster for the extended past 22 days. Only one day we parted and that when I slept in the theater of my acting class, The Lifebook Playhouse. This is my first time revealing the location. I didn’t mention where I slept previous because I thought it was too soon.   

Few days ago, I was informed that my roommate’s new roommate will be officially moving in today and now I am officially moved out. She has been a blessing to me for over 10 months and that blessing has finally come to an end. As I always say, “All good blessings come to an end to make room for new blessings. This is far my greatest challenge thus far in LA but I am at peace. I am at peace with my past, present and future. I feel really good throughout my body. Indeed, I would prefer to be comfortably living in my own place but I must first past this test. This arrangement is only temporary. 

An unknown future path of my quest awaits the results of the Craftsman Screw*d contest. This past Wednesday was the official start of the voting aspect of the contest. I’ve been building a strategy for the contest since I received word that I was a top 5 finalist. I was fully invoked in the marketing/promoting needs for votes to win. On this (My Past Does Not Direct My Future) I made the divine decision to win this contest.  Then just over a week later, one of the corresponding contest representatives completely redirected my concentration. I won’t get into detail right now but the person basically stated that some of the votes I was receiving were “liked” in the wrong places.
Immediately, I was disturbed by that email because of their poor job to provide proper instructions on the voting process. I following up with 3 emails and a phone call to address my discontentment with their flawed voting system. For some reason they decided not to communicate back. Subsequently, I decided not to participate in the voting process anymore. I invested in way over 12 hours of non stop marketing and promotion during the first day and I refuse to waste my time and effort if communication isn’t reciprocated. 

I don’t understand why but for some reason these contests can’t ever get the voting systems right. My decision not to maintain activity in the voting process isn’t a translation for giving up. Never that! It’s a decision that resonated peace upon my soul. The voting process only represents a percentage of the final score and I’ve already put in my work. I won’t put in any more work into a process that won’t communicate back. Overall, I put in a lot of work and my decision will allow the hands of fate/destiny to step in.
As a result of my decision, I indulged myself into continuing the reading of The Alchemist. That ushered in peace throughout my mind, body and soul to follow.

My current peaceful state is the absolute opposite of my previous contest state of being. I recall the non-peaceful state I was in during Oprah’s Your Own Show Contest. Even though, I was in contact with the producers I always felt over qualified and uneasy about the process. 

January of this year, the team I formed, “Complex Unit” was a semi finalist for the current running show “Expedition Impossible” and although I maintained confidence I was not at peace.

Last month, I was a top contender for an Animal Planet pilot. Within two days, I met the executive producers and received a physical. 3 days from those meetings, I began feeling ill at ease and soon after I was informed I would obtain the status as an alternate. As an alternate I was placed in a just in case position and they never used me for the pilot. In all of those scenarios, I exerted all the energy I could and the results never favored me in the end. 

Now I am in a community housing facility and I could be doing so much more with the voting process to secure top votes but I’m not. I am at peace with my decision and what the future holds. I know as a fact that votes are still coming in just from the effort I put in on that day one. I’ll leave it at that.

My Energy Don’t Lie
Something is about this happen. I can feel it. My senses don’t lie. I clearly remember approximately this time last year, basketball was my escape from reality and soon enough, it no longer fulfill me. The beard that I was growing, better known as my Beard Protest became strings to pluck at. During my last 3 years in Tampa my passion to capture memories for my clients events started to dwindle away. My video and photography desires were coming to an end and I clearly saw all the signs. I say all this because I’ve been noticing the signs/omens in my life that indicate change. 

Since March I’ve been very blessed and devoted to my acting class but even that desire has started to shed away.  I see the signs, I am being patient and attentive to make sure I don’t miss the clues needed to move forward. 

I was talking to my partner Reggie earlier today and I told him my situation and he told me he would of already quit by now. I strongly believe the reason why I am at peace is because I am seeing the signs and change is about to happen. Here are a few profound statements I paraphrased from The Alchemist.

-          The closer you get to the realization of your dream, the more difficult things become.

-          In pursuit of the dream, you are constantly subjected to the test of persistence and courage.

-          Do not be hasty nor impatient.

-          If you push forward impulsively you will fail to see the sign and omens left by God along the path.

Pending on my victory in the Craftsman Screw*d Contest I will be relocated to Chicago for 3 months. In less than a week my own life can change with the receipt of a phone call or email.  Knowing the possibility in which I proclaimed, I am sleeping in the community housing facility at peace.

Motown Maurice sleeping in the community housing facility on the top bunk bed.
Just because I made it as a top 5 finalist I got paid $250.00. My mom sent a very generous donation early this week. In the mail she sent also included a small check of $100.00 from one of my Ked Barber shop Commercial. Then today, my blessed friend Rosie blessed me with a $100.00 donation through Pay Pal. It has been a while since anybody other than my mom sent me any type of donation. 

Final Thoughts

The few things I listed provides me a decent cushion to survive until it’s time to leave for Chicago.  I am at peace, Wide aWoke and I recognizing the signs. These are the same signs I’ve been experiencing through my life. These are the same signs that told me it was time to leave Tampa and attend college in Tallahassee, FL in 1999.  These are the exact same signs that told me to leave Tallahassee, FL and return back to Tampa in 2004. This is the mere reflection of the signs that told it was time to start my own business in March of 2004.

I know the signs and I am grateful and patient.

As the quest continues...

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Motown Maurice

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Motown...what an insightful and introspective read! I can totally empathize with your situation and I'm impressed with your peace and outlook. Thank you for being so genuine and candid. Now, The Alchemist, I must read! : )


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