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Monday, September 27, 2010
Day 7 in L.A. (Self Assessment)
Day 7 = Sunday, September 26, 2010
Today I spent all day in my pajamas editing a series of my acting and hosting reels. For someone who has only directed and produced their own independent work, I think it’s a good start. I’ll consider posting one for you to view another time. Moreover, since I don’t have anything exciting to write about I figured I should make a personal assessment.
Today makes a complete week since I arrived and I am certain that I made the right choice. When I was doing my research L.A. is the only place with the most work available. Before I made the choice many people also suggested Atlanta or New, York. Although Atlanta’s entertainment industry is booming more and more it hasn’t sparked my interest yet. New York on the other hand, is a big market but I would have probably lost my mind there. I was born there and I still have family there that still thinks I’m 8 years old. Without a doubt I am confident about being here in California. Plus everyone I meet confirms I’m in the right place.
After years of writing, producing & editing my own work, I’m glad to be in the right place. I feel like I’ve paid my dues to be here. Now I have to pay my dues all over again. It’s a challenge I’m ready for. As each day goes by, somehow life feeds me a tea spoon of humility. Mainly because everyday I’m reading comments about so many people who dream of moving to L.A. Me on the other hand, was pushed to the edge and made a split decision to pick up and go. Within 24hrs of my decision I found a friend who I haven’t communicated with in years and another friend who provided me a super discount plane ticket. I almost made the move seem easy.
3 years ago I never called myself a talk show host nor an entertainer. If you were to ask me I probably would of have answered, “I’m a moderator/social activist.” It’s amazing how I evolved. It’s even more amazing that my frustrations and burning desire to succeed has brought me here to L.A. Relocating wasn’t my master plan. Yet, I’m here. Some tell me it’s my destiny. I’ve been told that I’m going to be a huge star and I’m going to do great things for this world. I’m very humbled by all those comments and prophecies but that has never been my focus. When I evaluate myself further back my main focus was to envision, produce and grow. Simultaneously I want to create jobs, inspire and enhance the lives of others. As I’m writing I’m realizing that I did all that to a degree in Tampa, FL. Unfortunately, until the point where I wasn’t able to anymore. I guess that’s why life brought me to L.A.
So much of what I accomplished in Tampa is now being used to enhance my acting/hosting career. That was never my intent. Even though I don’t know where I’m going to end up I am very humbled by my beginnings. I’m even more humbled for all the people that have helped me throughout the years. My quest represents the dreams of so many people that have helped me over the years. Some of those people are vicariously living their dreams through me. I have no choice but to succeed.
To many it’s clear and evident that I’m moving forward but I’m always asking myself “when will I have a significant growth spurt.” I want to be able to bless so many people it hurts. Although, money doesn’t drive me I need it to bless and create opportunities for others and I’m completely clueless on when I’ll have that financial blessing. For example, I’m praying and working hard to soon be able to bless my roommate in return for supporting for me. I dread the thought of one day being told, “It’s about time you get your own place.” Those worlds haunt my mind. Not because I don’t want my own place but because I want to soon be able to say, “Hey, I’m moving out this week. Thank you for your support and hospitality. As a token of my appreciation take this. Buy yourself a yacht or something.”
I know we can’t put a time on success or you never know when that growth spurt is coming but it doesn’t hurt to think about it from time to time.
More than anything, I am very thankful for the ability to grow again.
My plans for now is to make this upcoming week more successful than the last.
As the quest continues…