Week 432: The Most Stubbornest Man In the World

Weekly Written Review 

This time last year (December 2018) my father was in really bad shape. He lost a tremendous amount of weight among a myriad of other problems. I recall having that talk with him. He told me he didn't think he was going to make it. He referred to me as a man, as if he was passing me down a level of responsibility. That was a very scary moment. After leaving his room, all I could do was wipe my eyes and pray. We ended up taking him to the hospital. He got a little better, then got transferred to a health care center for a while. Four months later he returned home. Throughout the year I would talk to him over the phone. Some conversations he sounded better than others but my mom always kept me posted while in LA. Eventually, he started sounding like himself again and my mom sent reports of him gaining his weight back. Fast forward to Christmas day and I was elated to see him full and plump again.

My father's story is complicated. As open as I am about my life/journey, the story of my father/family is one I'll probably never share publicly. I've shared it with very few people in my lifetime and the reason for that was because I knew beforehand that they would directly or indirectly understand. Since I have no intentions of sharing my family's backstory, I'll at least reveal how stubborn he is. My father is a man that doesn't want to change and is intensely apprehensive about trying new things.  This is especially true when it comes to him taking the proper action to better himself. Anything that has to do with him being proactive about improving his health becomes an unnecessary argumentive stupid fuss.

Here's a prime example of what I'm talking about. My father has been through a lot for the past two years. He's restricted to a bed and he's getting his entertainment from a medium size dinosaur television set. He enjoys his TV and I decided months ago that he should enjoy his programs on a 50-inch flat screen. Early December I ordered the TV and table and had it sent to my parent's house. My mom was in on the surprise. I started telling him weeks in advance that I had a surprise for him but I didn't give him a clue about the TV.  I arrived on Christmas day and got it all set up by the end of the night. My mom and I entered his room and before I even started he began complaining that I better not take talk too long talking. First, I gave a little speech about myself, the developing success of my career and the direction I plan to steer my family into. Finally, I alluded to his gift as a symbolic representation of how big I want him to start thinking from this point on. I muffled a musical note and my mom came back in the room with the TV box. He seemed surprised and said, "wow" multiple times. My mom suggested I set it up now and that's when all the chaos started. He shouted, "No!" with more integrity than how he said, "wow." I faced my mom and told her it was okay. My father is so allergic to change I knew in advance that he would find a reason to complain about the gift. I anticipated his reaction months ago. Making matters worse, I found out through my mom the next day that he complained about the TV being too big. That triggered something in me. I was really troubled from that response and the whole ordeal broke me down spiritually. I spoke to him the day after Christmas and he said absolutely nothing about the TV. He avoided any mention of the TV as if it never happened. My mind began entering a very cloudy place. When I overheard my mom convincing him to accept the gift I shut down completely. I didn't like what she did but at the same time, her efforts actually lifted my spirits a little. I had visions of going off on him and her actions subsided those thoughts. As a result, I avoided him the next 3 days. He called my name and I didn't answer.

The negative outcome of this sad situation has little to do with the actual TV. I couldn't care less about the TV or how much I paid for it. However, the level of stubbornest from this man is unfathomable. Call it fear or whatever, but he's so comfortable with rickety TV he doesn't want to change it even if it's 100 times better. Moreover, my mom was really adamant about him accepting the gift. I suggested returning it and she wasn't having it. I told my mom, he needs to bring it up in conversation before I set it up. Pushing through this whole fiasco, I ended up writing a long 4-page letter addressing his problems and a plan of action. The next day I realized he's not going to read it or follow through with the demands. I soon after had an epiphany and simplified it into a contract of sorts. My mom liked the contract idea better and its terms. I wrote it on Saturday morning-ish, left the house and when I returned I was shocked to notice a signed contract on the dining room table. My mom later told me he resisted a lot. She explained it wasn't easy to get him to sign it. It was a fight but she mentioned something that probably struck a cord. She told him something I wrote in my original letter about the relationship he had with his father. That probably got to his center and led to him signing it. After I noticed the signed letter, I immediately said hi to him for the first time in a few days. After all that, everything is solved, right? The next step should be easy sailing setting up the TV, right? Double nope! Nothing is easy with this man. Things only got worse. Turn in next week to find out happened.


Sunday, December 23, 2018

* Played some 3 on 3 basketball at The Y. Lost the first game, won the second and I was not pleased with the last lost. My terrible played terrible together and the last two shots were in my face.

* Poster design gift for my landlady.


Monday, December 24, 2018

* Errands: Staples, Dollar store, Walgreens...

* Tennis...


Tuesday, December 25, 2018

* Departed for Tampa

* Playing Switch with family members

* Talk with Papa and presentation drama


Wednesday, December 26, 2018

* I found a 37 dollar check that was 4 months old when I came home. I ran to the bank first thing after waking up. Thankfully it deposited safely.

* ISA submission

* Heavy headed about making a serious decision about my father


Thursday, December 27, 2018

* Throwing away old mail

* I thought my mom agreed with my plan about my father but she derailed it. I didn't agree with her side talk with my father but it did relax my spirit. The issue isn't about the TV. I letter decided to write my father a letter instead of addressing in face to face.

* Went for a walk, made some phone calls and ended up playing some 2 on 2 basketball. Myself a very little boy played together. I had to teach these youngins a lesson.

I sent the rest of the night at Pam's new house and playing the demo of Switch Boxing Training and a couple songs on Just Dance


Friday, December 28, 2018

* A lot is on my mind. Spent a little extra time sleeping. I wrote a long letter for my father with some demands. My mom read it and liked it but we agreed he's not going to read it. I decided to trash the letter and present a contract instead.

* Blogging


Saturday, December 29, 2018

* Family contract writing and he signed it

* Snake Outta Compton last video edit

* Playing Switch with Jennifer

* Signed up for Discord to use for Fortnite


As the quest continues...

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